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Bush Makes Jeopardy Appearance
Los Angeles, CA In a move to dispel critics who have accused him of being an intellectual lightweight, President Bush faced off against two of the nations sharpest grade-schoolers recently on the popular game show Jeopardy. It was a great photo opportunity, although Bush had a tough time, placing third in the competition with a final score of -$450. Although he technically answered three questions correctly, he was penalized for “not answering in the form of a question,” said host Alex Trebek. “In his defense,” Trebek noted, “the president played against some very competitive children.” Shealyn Hannah, age seven, of Marengo, Illinois, won the game with $12,200. Following closely with final winnings of $11,900 was six-year-old Nyngpok Duparm of Trenton, New Jersey. “President Bush was just having a bad day,” said Duparm, who admitted that he’s a big fan of the President, “I just wish I’d gotten to shake his hand.” Duparm was referring to the end of the competition, when Bush scowled and stomped off the set. White House Spokesman Scott McClellan stated that the game was "obviously rigged" and questioned Trebek’s patriotism. “We know that he (Trebek) has Canadian, and possible French Canadian, ties,” said McClellan. “It doesn’t take a genius see that this is a collaboration between the liberal media and the French to embarrass our Commander and Chief.” McClellan went on to explain that the president was presented with questions that had a higher degree of difficulty than those of his opponents. Additionally, Bush has called for an investigation into the button used to signal that a contestant has the correct answer. “His button was defective,” McClellan continued, “and this was no coincidence.” ABC denies any wrongdoing. Network spokesperson Dana Sculley said that as the same answers are available to each contestant, there is an equal opportunity for all to win. She added that the buttons are thoroughly tested before each show. “Overall the president played well. He made a few simple mistakes that anyone could have made, such as forgetting the primary colors, arithmetic errors, and confusing Australia with Austria. We’re sorry he had a bad experience, and extend an invitation for him to study hard and give it another try.”
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L. Wood 
